Former President Donald Trump was often described as “gaslighting” when rejecting certain realities and creating his own narratives. Will Smith is now being accused of the practice while promoting his new movie, “Emancipation.” Straight Arrow News contributor Jordan Reid points to a conversation in the TV show “Bachelor in Paradise” where a partner’s gaslighting caused the demise of his relationship. Reid breaks down the word and describes how the practice is often used by abusers of power.
It’s official: “Gaslighting” is Merriam-Webster’s official Word of 2022. The word originated from the 1944 film “Gaslight”, but only entered the modern lexicon in the mid-2010s, so I thought it was worth taking a moment to explain what gaslighting is, what it’s not and why people are so irritated by the word.
According to Merriam-Webster, gaslighting is psychological manipulation that “causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.”
In short, it’s when someone makes you feel like your understanding of reality is false, with detrimental consequences. Which is more than just a lie – it’s not saying “It’s raining” when it’s sunny; it’s saying “you may think it’s sunny, but that’s only because you have such terrible eyesight you can’t even see the raindrops,” despite the fact that you know you can see perfectly well.
Some ways that gaslighting can be employed by abusers:
- Withholding: When the abuser pretends not to understand the victim.
- Trivializing: When the abuser makes the victim feel that his or her needs or thoughts aren’t important.
- Mislabeling : Telling the victim that, say, what reads to them as ‘abuse’ is merely ‘protection.’
- Countering: Calling into question a victim’s distinct memories.
- Forgetting: When the abuser pretends to forget incidents – a promise, say – that have factually occurred.
More examples: A parent telling a child repeatedly that they are “too sensitive” to get them to stop expressing difficult emotions, stereotyping the goals of an entire group as “crazy,” or even a medical professional telling a patient experiencing pain that it’s all “in their head.”