With Valentine’s Day on Tuesday, love is lingering in the air this week, and so is loneliness for many men out there. Well, a lot more men than in past years. If these lonely men continue to embrace the toxic masculine mantra of the right, their chances of attracting a mate is going to remain pretty low. 

It’s only logic. Published research by several academics including a 2021 study called loneliness around the world, found that dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing, while the number of voluntarily single women is rising. Now sociologists and some psychologists who study human behavior, well, they conclude that this is happening because relationship standards are changing. And also there’s a significant gap in social skills between men and women. Basically, women are becoming more selective about who they choose to be partnered with.

Seriously though. Unlike in the past, today, women don’t necessarily need to be married. Because we can make our own money now. We can own property instead of being property. This is pretty new, though. It was just in 1974 that federal laws were passed providing that women could finally own credit cards, have bank accounts, things in their own names. Hence, most of us 80s babies…Hello… are the first generation of women who’ve been able to access economic independence to really control their own destinies and as a result, we’re more selective about a mate because we can be.

As Psychology Today notes, women tend to seek partners who are good communicators, emotionally available, they know how to regulate their emotions and see themselves as a partner who’s really willing to work together. And unfortunately, many men don’t have those skills or that outlook. They don’t see it as a partnership. They don’t see their partners as equals. And the right isn’t trying to change that. The narrative we constantly hear from conservatives is that men must be traditional. That is tough, aggressive, have the final say, dominate socially and sexually and so on. 

This toxic masculinity is really fueling the rise in incels and these Andrew Tate followers, who believe the narrative that men are better than women and women are deserving of hatred. And with that mentality, even if it’s subconscious, it’s a turn off. A 2021 poll by Generation Lab found that 71% of college Dems would not date a Republican voter, even though 31% of voters would date a Dem. Now to be fair, and let’s be real, the right does not have a monopoly on misogyny or poor relationship skills. There are plenty of men on the left suffering from those afflictions. But even so, given the party principles on gender dynamics and toxic narratives, the mentality reinforced by those on the right is a big problem. 

Regardless though. Lonely heterosexual men, they really need to get it together in terms of seeking out interpersonal growth if they want to increase their chances of living their lives with a woman. But if they simply want to spend more February 14th’s flying solo, well, I guess they can stay on the right side.