Well, look who finally woke up. It’s the Republicans. Buenos dias folks. Good morning all you right wingers. Want some breakfast? We have chiligillis and what left Republicans so woke? Get this. It was of all things racism. That’s right. No, I’m not kidding. The big R — the word whose name, according to many in that tribe, shall never be spoken. Not ever unless it turns out the supposed victim of this alleged racism is … wait for it .. the GOP’s favorite black person, Clarence Thomas.

Any attack on the conservative Supreme Court Justice, such as recent questions from journalists and others about whether it was ethical for Thomas to accept and not disclose lavish trips and other gifts from our friend who happens to be billionaire builder and developer Harlan Crow? 

Well, according to some on the right, this is all a black and white example of racism. Check out the conversation that conservative radio host Steve Hewitt was having the other day inside the echo chamber with conservative writer Molly Hemingway as the two discussed this story. Quote, “The animus is race-based,” Hewitt bellowed. That’s why white liberals hate Clarence Thomas, am I right? See, the suspense was killing me, but in the end, Hemingway agreed with her fellow Republican. Quote, “I don’t think anyone even disputes that,” she said. “You might even have many people on the left admitting that. This is a black man and he comes out very differently on issues than how white liberals would like him to come out.”

Well, I won’t argue that. Whenever Thomas has in the past squared off against smug, arrogant, and condescending white liberals, dating back to the nasty 1991 Senate confirmation battle that Thomas correctly described as a “high-tech lynching” for uppity blacks, I’ve been on his side. 

You see, I know where he’s coming from. White liberals hate him for the same reason that so many of them hate me. Because they want to get people like him and me — blacks and browns — every right under the sun, except the right to think for ourselves. So maybe Hewitt and Hemingway — gosh, that sounds like a law firm doesn’t it — maybe they’re right, that the reason that white liberals have been so ruthless and relentless in pursuit of Thomas, well, it’s all about racism. I’ll allow it. 

I’m just surprised, clutch the pearls, to hear Republicans talk like that using the R word like, well, Democrats. See, I’ve been tuned into politics for the last 40 years since I was about 15 years old. Back then, in the 1980s, I was a hardcore Democrat who naively believed that my party was full of wisdom and had all the answers. And today, well, today, after nearly 35 years of writing about politics and covering politicians, I know the truth. Both parties are full of crap. And far from having all the answers, neither one of them even really understands the questions. 

One area where Republicans are especially full of crap, is anything having to do with race, diversity, and multiculturalism, black people, brown people. These are some of their least favorite things. For instance, take this racism thing. For the entire time that I’ve kept my eye on Republicans, over the last four decades, Republicans have brushed aside accusations of prejudice and racism, especially ones leveled against them or white people in general. That’s their role. By the way, Republicans, white people, aren’t they really one and the same at this point?

My point is that Republicans have always been in denial about the existence of racism and eager to change the subject to something, anything, less sensitive. Sensitive. Now, there’s a familiar word. For years whenever a person of color would accuse a Republican or even the whole Republican Party of a racial slight, the most common response was those three magical words. Conservatives would say, “Get over it.” That’s what they said. They would accuse the victims of racism of being too sensitive. “Toughen up,” they said. The implication was that racism was dead, a relic of the past, yesterday’s news. Well, have you heard the news? According to Republicans themselves, racism is back.