I was inexplicably relaxed on the day of the election. I even forgot it was happening for most of the day.

My friends, the relaxation has left the building.

It turns out that, when presented with the option between a convicted criminal who spent the days before the election spouting some of the most hateful, racist, unhinged rhetoric that has ever been seen on the American political stage…and a woman…A woman was a step too far.

Now, I’ve been listening to the pundits since late Tuesday night and yes, it appears that the state of the economy and the hispanic vote played a role in what amounted to a complete Republican sweep of the election…but…I really thought that, as a country, we were fundamentally good people, who believed in freedom of religion, a woman’s right to choose…the constitution. But never before has it been more apparent that the promise of the two-term Obama administration – the hope that we were progressing towards a more equitable, more democratic future – has not played out.

I know what I’m supposed to say. Buckle down, now’s not the time to stop fighting, we now have a greater responsibility than ever to try to fix our broken system…but I’m so tired. Everyone is. And that’s the greatest danger we face here, I think…the fact that in situations like this one, it is much easier to look the other way.

Resistance takes time, and energy, and money. It’s not easy. And we’ve been doing it for so long. The Lincoln project, the millions of dollars in donor money, the nationwide protests…of course we need to keep organizing, but it’d be a fiction to say this loss wasn’t deeply, deeply demoralizing.

We’re in the process of a not-so-slow slide towards full autocracy. Anybody who tells you they know what’s going to happen over the course of the next four years is likely either wrong or on TV, but it’s safe to say that the people holding on the guardrails – the free-for-now press, the organizers, the diminished House and Senate – have their work cut out for them.

I’m shocked. I wish I wasn’t; I somehow managed not to be emotionally prepared for this. But here we are.

I’m sorry if you’re hurting. I’m hurting, too. One day at a time, I guess. We can do hard things. I just wish we didn’t have to do them so often.