CHUCK NORRIS DOESN’T READ BOOKS, HE STARES THEM DOWN UNTIL HE GETS THE INFO HE NEEDS.

IT’S SAID CHUCK NORRIS’ TEARS CURE CANCER. TOO BAD HE’S NEVER CRIED.

I’VE GOT ABOUT A HUNDRED MORE OF THESE, BUT HERE’S SOMETHING THAT’S NOT A JOKE.

CHUCK NORRIS IS NOW IN A TEXAS PSA ASKING KIDS TO HELP STOP SCHOOL VIOLENCE.

THE LAST TIME THE STATE OF TEXAS CALLED ON CHUCK NORRIS, HE PLAYED WALKER TEXAS RANGER. THE SHOW ENDED IN 2001, AMID A FLURRY OF ROUNDHOUSE KICKS.

I love bringing bad guys to justice

BUT THE 82-YEAR-OLD ACTION HERO IS BACK, HOWEVER HE’S DELIVERING FAR FEWER KICKS.

THIS WEEK, TEXAS GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT AND THE TEXAS DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY LAUNCHED A NEW PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FEATURING NORRIS. IT’S MEANT TO RAISE AWARENESS AROUND THE STATE’S iWATCHTEXAS COMMUNITY REPORTING SYSTEM

BASICALLY, iWATCHTEXAS IS A PHONE NUMBER OR WEBSITE PEOPLE CAN USE TO REPORT SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY TO LAW ENFORCEMENT.

Whether it’s criminal acts, terror threats, or someone wanting to harm children, if you see something, say something.

iWATCHTEXAS ISN’T NEW. IT LAUNCHED SEVERAL YEARS AGO. BUT GOVERNOR ABBOT IS DRAWING MORE ATTENTION TO THE PROGRAM IN THE WAKE OF THE UVALDE SCHOOL SHOOTING. ABBOTT AND LEADERS AROUND TEXAS ARE SCRAMBLING TO HELP KIDS FEEL SAFE AS THEY RETURN TO SCHOOL.

BUT NOT EVERYONE IS THRILLED TO SEE CHUCK NORRIS TAKING THIS MESSAGE TO KIDS.  

CRITICS SAY PROGRAMS LIKE iWATCHTEXAS AREN’T GREAT AT PREVENTING CRIMES OR VIOLENCE. OFTEN TIMES, THEY CAN EVEN BE COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE BECAUSE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY MIGHT GET IN TROUBLE IF THEY ASK FOR HELP.

AND WHILE ADULTS MAY GET A KICK OUT OF SEEING THE BEARDED BOMBSHELL BACK ON CAMERA, MANY ARE ASKING IF THE AGING ACTION HERO IS THE BEST AMBASSADOR TO CARRY SUCH AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO CHILDREN.

OKAY. ONE MORE JOKE.

CHUCK NORRIS IS THE REASON WALDO IS HIDING.